November's Problem Shared...


Hi Roisin,

It sounds to me like there’s a bit of a “clique” developing in your class - a clique usually refers to a group of people who spend time together and don’t welcome others into the group, often going out of their way to exclude them.  Unlike groups of friends, who have shared interests such as sport or music, a clique works in a different way, and there will often be a leader who decides what goes and who is ‘in or out’.

Whilst you might feel at times that you would give anything to be in this ‘cool’ group, ask yourself if you really want to be part of a group that treats people in this way. A group where people, like your (former) friend, feels afraid to talk to someone not in the ‘clique’?

In a healthy friendship group, you can have your own opinion and say what you really feel - there should be no strict rules deciding what you can and can’t do and you should feel good about being in the group - this is real friendship.

So, instead of focusing on this group, reach out and make friends with people who share your interests and who don’t want you to change to suit them.  If you try to be the type of friend you’d like to have, someone who is kind, supportive and fair, you’ll soon find that the friends you attract will be genuine friends who you can like and trust.

Know this: cliques will come and go, true friends are for life.

And finally, if you feel these girls are being mean continuously, you must tell someone- the teacher, your parents, the principal… chances are they will have an idea already. 


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